The Elite Guard
by SiriusBalisticPretzels
Summary: Harry really wasn't quite sure what to think of Dumbledore's new security measures. He got the general idea but he didn't really see the added benefit this supposed elite guard offered. They were all rather...strange. One-shot turned drabble series. Slightly implied SasuSaku. ANBU!team7
1. The Elite Gaurd

**Perhaps the start to something more or perhaps not. **

**Either way…Enjoy!**

**I own neither Naruto nor Harry Potter.**

.:The Elite Guard:.

Harry really wasn't quite sure what to think of Dumbledore's new security measures. He got the general idea but he didn't really see the added benefit this supposed elite guard offered.

The young fifteen year old first had the pleasure of meeting them at a rather impromptu interruption they had made in the middle of one of the Order's meetings.

They certainly looked the part of some type of strange rag tag team you generally saw in action movies.

The three were relatively tall, the shortest being the only female of the group judging by the obtrusively bright shade of hair and yet she was still a good two inches taller than him. The other two were well muscled men, one with ruffled blonde hair and the other with shaggy black.

They all wore matching black uniforms plated with some kind of white armor and strange masks with odd animal like drawings on them.

Yes they definitely weren't lacking in the intimidation factor... At least appearance wise.

Harry couldn't help but wonder if they were as great and powerful as Dumbledore had made them out to be in his rather brief and vague description that had been given at their arrival. They were all rather _strange_.

The tallest of the three, the one with the dark hair whose name was some kind of bird Harry couldn't remember, was also the quietest. He generally wasn't seen milling around the house like his other two companions. Honestly, Harry found him to be the most unsettling of the three. He was just so creepy. The guy seemed to live in the shadows. Also he sometimes got a bit handsy with the pink haired guard when he thought no one was looking. Or maybe he knew people were looking and he just didn't really care.

Then there was the girl with the odd pink hair that reminded Harry of the auror member who had come to get him from the Dursley's just a few short weeks ago. She was nice enough if not distant and reserved. He remembered Hermione saying something about different cultures and social norms, but didn't really find it all that interesting to pay close enough attention.

She seemed to have a bit a temper that would flare up in response to one of her squad members, more often than not the blonde one was on the receiving end. It was entertaining and terrifying all at once. Though generally terror was the dominant sentiment felt all around sans the twins they seemed to find it endlessly amusing. More than once she had smacked her blonde teammate so hard upside the head he would go careening down the stairs and she would stomp down after him muttering strange words under her breath.

Then of course there was the blonde one. He seemed to be the most open and occasionally friendly member of the group, though he was definitely he strangest. He would sit at the table and try to talk to them and answer their questions. However, his English was so horrendously bad they only got a mess of broken phrases and miss pronounced words. This would bring on an annoyed sigh and the occasional slap from the pink haired one and a string of insults from the black haired one. All of which would more likely than not end in a screaming match between the blonde and black haired guards spoken in a different language.

Not to mention the blonde was utterly fascinated and horrified with practically everything in the house. He was always touching things, twisting and turning them every which way. It was if he believed they would reveal all their secrets if he looked long enough. Harry could only imagine the expressions the man was making under that mask of his.

He also had a strange habit of shrieking every time Kreacher came around. Not that anyone really faulted him for that one.

But still Harry wasn't really sure if he should throw all his cards in with this lot.

They were...weird.

**I typed this on my iPod last nigat midnight last night in about ten minutes. I've gone through and made some corrections and hope it came out all right.**

**I was very pleased with myself after I wrote this because I really want to write a crossover. I've read dozens upon dozens of NaruHP Xovers and fell in love with the ANBU guard protection scenario. Though it occurred to me yesterday it rather out of character of them to act in such a manner so I tried out my own thing. **

**I know this isn't how we generally perceive the ANBU to act, but I came up with my own scenario of it being more identity protection being so far from home in a foreign land. So yeah I hope you enjoyed it.**

**And yes I did shamelessly add a touch of SasuSaku…a little OC, but they are my hopeless OTP and this is fanfiction so I thought "why the hell not?"**

****Should I start a small series of slightly humorous snippets of ANBU!team7 at Hogwarts?****

**Please let me know your thoughts.**


	2. Lost in Translation

**Thank you for all your positive reviews! They meant so much to me! I hope you like this chapter just as much.**

**I don't own Naruto or Harry Potter.**

**Enjoy.**

.:Lost in Translation:.

"So, uh what are your names again?" Ron's head tilted to the side and his ginger eyebrows screwed together in what appeared to be mild confusion.

Harry leaned over the table listening carefully so he could finally try to commit the names to memory. It had been two week already and still he wasn't quite sure what they called themselves. He had been referring to them so far by their hair color.

"Ah….Eto...She a…." the blonde haired guard shot forward in his seat and pointed to the female guard beside him.

Harry couldn't help but sit a little farther back in his seat. The guard scratched furiously at his spiky hair and leaned over letting out a slew of foreign words to the pink haired woman beside him. The nonsensical conversation going on before them was mildly entertaining even though he couldn't understand a word of it. Hermione who sat between Harry and Ron inched forward on her chair as if waiting for her opportunity to help, if she could.

Finally the blonde turned back and Harry found the shadows lurking over the eye slits somewhat daunting.

"She a kettle," he promptly received a slap on the back of the head, compliments of his female teammate. Her voice rose in pitch as she possibly began lecturing him.

Harry just tilted his head in confusion.

_Kettle_?

He looked to the side to find Ron nodding his head slowly as if accepting it as some strange foreign name and Hermione with a hard gaze trying to make sense of the word.

"Cat," Harry was surprised to see that it was the black haired one who spoke.

It was one of the odd times that the black haired guard was actively partaking in anything going on around the house. Whenever he came out from wherever he hid all day, he generally just stood in the corner whispering to the pink haired guard, Cat, or exchanging heated words with the blonde one.

"Cat?" Hermione's head was now tilted to the side in inquisition. "Then why did he say kettle?"

"Because he's an idiot," The black haired guard turned his head away from them, obviously done with the conversation.

"No! Not idiot!" The blonde one yelled in English before quickly switching to his native tongue and began arguing momentarily with the black haired one.

With a terse sigh the blonde turned back to the three Gryffindors.

"I mean not kettle….like….ah….little ca..cat….little cat!" he spoke with such enthusiasm so uncharacteristic of the intimidating gear he dawned it was rather humorous to Harry.

"A kitten?" Hermione was practically leaning over the table, her eyes wide.

"Yes, yes…ket….kett…that. Not right. I make fault. Bird right, it Cat and I Dog."

Ron looked thoroughly perplexed and Harry felt rather confused as well not really wanting to put forth the effort to follow the blonde's broken text. Hermione however was nodding vigorously.

"So, you're Cat," she pointed to the pink haired one who nodded, "Dog," the blonde gave a thumbs up, "and Bird," the black haired guard merely turned his attention back towards them briefly then looked away. What a creep. "That's very helpful, thank you."

"Lots of problems," the blonde began waving his hand dismissively and Ron groaned.

"He means, no problem," Cat supplied after slapping the blonde hard in the arm.

"Right…." Hermione spoke slowly and Harry could see the questions just piling up on the tip of her tongue. He almost wanted to slap a hand over her mouth to stop her, but didn't act quickly enough. If you don't mind me asking, where are you from?"

Harry dropped back in his chair, it was tiring listening to the blon—Dog speak.

"Ah! This is known! Hide and Seek Tree Town!" Dog sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest looking thoroughly pleased with himself.

"Wha..? Hide and seek….?" Ron looked over to Hermione to see if she got any of this, she looked equally confused.

"I don't—"

"We will be retiring to our room now," Cat stood abruptly and grabbed Dog roughly around the arm as he whined in his language. By the time they reached the door Bird was nowhere in sight, as usual. That guy had a talent for disappearing.

Just before they left Dog turned back and waved, "Good morning!"

"Ah….yeah you too….goodnight…." Harry waved back half heartedly and when they left he dropped his head right onto the hard wood table.

"Well that was….enlightening." Hermione spoke slowly.

"What? Have you gone mad? Hide and seek Tree Town….What a load of bullocks. I don't know what Dumbledore was thinking, they're completely mental!" Ron yelled.

_Indeed._

"Did you see that look on the black hair one's face, looked like he was gonna kill us!" Harry peered up to see Ron waving his arms around dramatically.

"Ronald, please. They're wearing masks. You couldn't even see his face," Hermione gave an exasperated sigh as she shook her head back and forth.

"Doesn't mean he didn't want to! They're all crazy."

Harry couldn't agree more.

This was definitely going to be an interesting year at Hogwarts.

**What's you think?**

**So this isn't really going to be anything too serious, just some short humorous chapters. Mostly random occurrences. Based around events in The Order of the Phoenix probably more so the movie than the book. **

**Send me anything you might like to see and I'll see what I can do. Like I said this will mostly be humor maybe with touches of seriousness and bits and pieces of SasuSaku and maybe a touch of NaruHina, but I probably won't go that far unless enough people want me too. **

**Open to suggestions.**

**Until next time:) **


	3. Train

**Dog- Naruto**

**Cat-Sakura**

**Bird-Sasuke**

**I don't own Naruto.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

.:Train:.

"What do ya reckon they're talking about?" Ron leaned over and whispered loudly to Hermione who was watching the spectacle very intently.

"I'm not sure…..the train, maybe?"

Just then Harry watched as Dog began pointing at the Hogwarts Express with vigorously sharp motions. He seemed to be having a bit of a fit about it. It was weird, but then again that was nothing out of the ordinary.

Harry spared a glance at the crowds of adults and children milling around the train and noticed that the odd trio of armored guards were drawing quite a bit of unwanted attention. Professor Moody was practically feral with how indiscrete this whole _mission _was proceeding. He kept glaring at the guards muttering words under his breath.

"You think maybe we should….I dunno, ask if something's wrong?" Ron inquired lightly to which Harry just shrugged his shoulders. Hermione however saw an opportunity she could not let pass. She immediately made her way over to where the group was standing pulling Harry and Ron along with her.

"Pardon me," Hermione began experimentally, drawing in their attention. "We were just wondering if everything was all right."

Harry watched as Dog leaned over and spoke in rapid succession in another language to Cat who answered in a soft voice. Dog then began nodding so hard Harry thought his mask would fly right off. He was briefly distracted by the thought.

What did their faces look like under those masks? How old were they? Did they have some kind of facial deformities that they didn't want anyone to see? Or maybe they were sensitive to light…..Bird probably was.

All too soon Harry was drawn out of his thought when Dog began to speak….or at least tried to.

"That," he pointed to the Hogwarts Express bustling with students boarding for the awaiting departure, "it very…..not regular. I see one in life, use for taking land and rock to place far away."

"A cargo train?" Hermione supplied. All the guards looked back and forth between each other obviously perplexed. "A train," she pointed to the Hogwarts Express, "used to carry materials to different places, is that what you are saying?"

Dog scratched his blonde hair and was silent. His head tilted to the side, which looked rather strange to Harry with that animal mask on. Finally he nodded.

"Tr…tlen…..treen…that," apparently giving up on the word and resorting back to pointing, "it not for people. I not go on." He crossed his arm over his chest defiantly and Harry couldn't help but feel slightly intimidated by the sleek bulge of muscles on his arms.

Ron looked back at the train and then to the guards.

"What are you talking about, mate? Of course it's for people, what else would it be for?" Harry could tell Ron did obviously not understand the blonde's issue, not that Harry could claim to understand either.

"One I see carry only land and rock, no people. I people. I not land or rock, I not go on."

"….Dog…" Hermione hesitated over the name, "this train was designed for people. It's very safe."

At those words Harry's mind drifted back briefly to third year when he had had been attacked by a dementor on this very train. Quickly his thoughts turned sour as one thing led to another and his mind was trapped in thoughts of the trail and Dumbledore's evasive behavior afterward.

"I kill train."

Harry's head whipped over to Dog, all previous preoccupation to the past lost in a flash.

"What?" the words slipped from his mouth in and an incredulous manner. "You killed a train?"

"Yes, yes. It very…fun…no….exciting. It very exciting. It happen long time ago, in snow with princess. I run very fast and train not hit us. I kill train."

Harry was surprised to see that the story had actually captured Ron's interest this time.

"You mean a train almost killed you….but you out ran it….with a princess!?" Ron leaned forward on his toes a bit.

Cat leaned over and whispered in something to Dog to which he nodded slowly.

"Ah….yes that what I say. Train almost kill me."

"Wicked!" Ron looked to be thoroughly impressed and Harry was feeling blown away by the story as well, but he couldn't help but feel that maybe…

"I don't think that's what he's trying to say Ron," Hermione interjected, solidifying Harry's own speculation. "I mean it's physically impossible, you can't out run a train." She crossed her arms over her chest as if blocking out all the nonsense spewing from Dog's mouth. "It's obvious he's trying to tell us something that we just aren't understanding correctly."

Harry wouldn't bet anything on it, but he could have sworn he heard Bird snicker behind his mask.

"No, I not lie," Dog spoke loudly. He leaned forward as if to say more but was quickly cut off by a sharp blow to the throat.

Dog immediately began coughing and clutching at his throat.

"Your voice is annoying, stop talking." Harry looked on owlishly as Bird began flexing his fingers as if preparing them for another strike.

"I….still…..not go on….."Dog gasped sending what looked to be a glare at Bird.

"Right well good luck mate…..see ya later…." Ron grabbed Hermione and Harry's arm and began dragging them back toward the train.

As soon as they we stepping on to the car Ron began spouting off about the guards.

"I told you, they're completely mental. Did you see Bird? Bloody psychopath!"

Harry couldn't help but feel Ron was rather hung up over Bird, though Harry could blame him. He though Bird was pretty scary as well.

"It was rather harsh…." Hermione looked back over her shoulder before returning her attention back to himself and Ron.

"Whatever," Ron shook his head. "I just want to get to Hogwarts and eat. Forget about all this."

"They're going to be at Hogwarts as well, it won't make a difference where you are. " Hermione reminded him.

Harry watched as Ron's face screwed up with thought.

"You heard 'im out there," he pointed back behind him. "He won't even get one the train. How are they suppose to get to Hogwarts?"

Hermione sighed and shook her head obviously tired with the direction of the conversation.

"Well whatever they decide I just hope they leave me alone," Harry intoned in a slightly irritated voice.

He didn't miss how Ron and Hermione traded expressions of worry.

.:.:.:.

Once harry was situated in the compartment and Hermione and Ron had left he spared a glance out the window to find that the guards were no longer arguing on the platform. He wondered idly if they had gotten on the train.

Well he guessed he'd find out eventually.

* * *

**IMPORTANT!**

**Well guys I'm sorry to inform you that this story will go n break at least for the next two and a half months, but it could be longer. I'm joining the military and now I have to leave for boot camp. After that I'll be starting my new life in the military so I can't say for sure how much time I'll have for fanfiction, but needless to say it won't be on the top of my priority list. **

**I'm glad you all like my story. Reviews really brighten up my day, so please let me know what you think.**

**P.S. If you didn't understand the whole train thing….In the Naruto Movie Land of Snow they saw a train and Naruto out ran it with the princess in his arms. Though I actually think that train was used to transport and use weapons, not wood/mineral/rock…blah, blah, blah.**

**Anyways hope that cleared things up in the next chapter Sakura and Sasuke will probably have more talking time.**


End file.
